In any communication between persons, there is only one secret in knowing if someone is paying attention is to maintain eye contact. In any interview, there is always a feeling of friendly conversation and if it is not achieved, then you expect no success. A mirror into the soul is how psychologists describe our eyes because through them you can easily describe a person. Nevertheless, they are so much more than that, which is why eye contact is such an important part of everyone's body language. Without saying a word our eyes, and the way we use them, can speak volumes. Without being able to know our thoughts, others perceive our hearing and understanding by watching our eyes. Our eyes can also be used to read how other people are relating to us as individuals, or our status, although it is surprising how people fail to do the former.
Can you interpret someone through the eyes? Is it easy to tell someone’s character by just looking at them? Oh Yes. Words between people are sometimes not needed. You can actually say a lot by the way in which eye contact is made, even before you open your mouth. This happens in any situation that we might find ourselves, be that a relationship, social occasion or business environment.
In an interview the way that eye contact is used has a significant impact upon how the panel perceives what you are saying to them.
Just assume that was the case and if the panel see that you cannot make or maintain eye contact with them, there are two messages that you might be sending.
1. You are not interested: This is likely to leave you sitting on your own bed nursing your hurt pride. If you insist upon allowing your eyes to wander around the room instead of focusing on the person you are with, making them feel important and special to you, this reaction is hardly surprising. People want to know they matter and making eye contact is one way of giving them that message, as indeed is listening to what they are saying.
2. It may also portray the opposite, an honesty of feeling and hidden positive words: If an interviewer asks you a personal question about your feelings for them and you cannot keep eye contact with them when you reply it could show that your words are not the truth or, at best, that you are not totally sure of your feelings.
To a lesser or greater extent these same two aspect of people being able to read what we are thinking by our eye contact behavior applies to any other situation where we are conversing with others. Making eye contact shows we are interested in the person and what they have to say when they are talking. When we are talking, making eye contact shows them we want them within our conversation, the words are directed at them and that we believe in what we are saying.
Any eye contact must be well thought through. Use it when it is necessary and try to make it as natural as possible. Eye contact can also create an impression of the type of person we are and the particular emotions that we feel at the time that contact is made. For instance, someone who stares at another is often considered to be rude and aggressive, or trying to dominate. Similarly, it could denote feelings of anger. In this case, the stare will be noticed by the fact that there is little movement of the eyelids. A stare can also make the other person feel uncomfortable and there they will create a bad impression of the person making eye contact in this manner.
As much as eye contact can be negative it also can be the converse of that. If a person makes eye contact it shows they care about another, in which case the contact is not so intense and, because of the facial expression surrounding the eyes are softer. This shows the level of comfort they have with the person they are looking at, and can signify feelings of empathy, connection and an emotional reaction.
Any eye contact must be well thought through. Use it when it is necessary and try to make it as natural as possible. Eye contact can also create an impression of the type of person we are and the particular emotions that we feel at the time that contact is made. For instance, someone who stares at another is often considered to be rude and aggressive, or trying to dominate. Similarly, it could denote feelings of anger. In this case, the stare will be noticed by the fact that there is little movement of the eyelids. A stare can also make the other person feel uncomfortable and there they will create a bad impression of the person making eye contact in this manner.
As much as eye contact can be negative it also can be the converse of that. If a person makes eye contact it shows they care about another, in which case the contact is not so intense and, because of the facial expression surrounding the eyes are softer. This shows the level of comfort they have with the person they are looking at, and can signify feelings of empathy, connection and an emotional reaction.
Although many of our eye contact actions come automatically, we have to remember it can be easily misunderstood, a situation that can cause problems in two circumstances.
1. If you give the wrong eye contact signals in an interview or a work environment it can result in having the opposite effect to what was intended. For example, if you stare too hard at a person you may be perceived as rude, even if the reason for your staring is the wonderful visual impact they have on you.
2. If you gaze out of the window while the boss is giving you instructions, he or she might think that you are not taking a blind bit of attention, whereas in fact, the opposite may be true and you are simply gazing away as you concentrate of working out how to put his or her wishes into action. If this is the case then you need to explain to the other person why your eyes are acting in this manner.
We wish you a very successful approach to any conversation.
